Archive for March, 2006

AOL=Evil

It was quite a trial to break free from the nefarious clutches of AOL. Those fuckers used Nazi mind-control tactics on me last night when I tried to cancel service. First of all, they set up their website so that it is IMPOSSIBLE to cancel service online. I spent an hour just to get to a support chat-room with some fuck named “Topey” who jerked me around and sidestepped my request for fifteen minutes. I finally demanded a phone number to speak with a human, and I got this psycho-bitch-from-hell who REFUSED to cancel my service.

Me: “I’d like to cancel my service, please.”
AOL: “I’m so sorry to hear that Mr. Dust. May I ask why?”
Me: “I just don’t need it any more. Anyway, I’d just like to go ahead and cancel now, please.”
AOL: “But Mr. Dust, I don’t think you understand the level of security we provide for you. You wouldn’t want someone to hack into your computer and steal your identity, would you?”
Me: “Look. I don’t care. Just cancel my service.”
AOL: “Is it the price Mr. Dust? Because we can…”
Me: “No. Look, you are wasting my time right now. I’ve been trying to cancel my service for an hour now, and I’m starting to get very frustrated.”
AOL: “I’ll tell you what Mr. Dust, we’ll give you two months free…”
Me: “Now you’re starting to really piss me off. If you don’t cancel my service right now, I’m going to hang up, call my credit card company, and report you to the Better Business Bureau.”
AOL: “I’m sorry Mr. Dust, I didn’t mean to upset you. I will cancel your account right now, but you’ll be happy to know that you can keep your screen name and password and continue to use your email just as before, for free. It’s just our way of maintaining a relationship with you. Before I can process your cancellation request, I need to transfer you to our legal department… ” Ring, ring… [Insert appropriate "Hotel California" lyrics here]

Click! Fucking Nazi bastards. I better make sure my mother doesn’t ever get on the phone with an AOL rep. They’ll be harvesting her for bone marrow or stem cells by the end of the call.

End of rant.

As the Stomach Turns

I don’t know folks. It’s probably just a quirk in my personality. I have noticed a pattern lately in the way I engage with the Integral Universe. I post every month or so with a thinly veiled cynical or critical attitude about something. There’s no real dialogue with Wilber; The audio/video clips on Integral Naked are becoming more and more like commercials; I hate the spiral dynamics lingo; blah blah blah. Now I read this on the Integral Naked forum:

“Once you’ve completed I-I Certification (coming soon), or completed the accredited courses in Integral Theory currently being offered by JFK or Fielding, or passed the (coming soon) sentence-completion tests based on Jane Loevinger’s work, or assessed by internal I-I folks as having your center of gravity at least 2nd tier, then welcome inside the Berlin Wall. This highly selective circle is the cream of the crop at I-I. Eventually, our ‘I-I 411 / Yellow Pages’ will enable you to be acknowledged by rank, your rank based on your level of integral education, your test results and the quantity of feedback you get from I-I peers ranking your altitude.”

I read this, and my stomach turned. I know, I know — I must be Green because Green hates ranking and hierarchy. This might be true, but I’ve gotta go with my gut (another Green thing, I suppose). Maybe I just need to step away from the Integral Scene for a while and see how things take shape. Maybe I’m just tired and cranky from too many hours working at the hospital.

I wonder how others feel about having their “altitude ranked?” My first reaction was to cancel my I-I membership and write the whole thing off as another failed experiment. Shadow stuff creeping up? Legitimate concerns about creepy aspects of this community? I don’t know. I’m going to sleep on it.

Brain Freeze

“Evidence for Universe Expansion Found
By MATT CRENSON, AP National Writer

Physicists announced Thursday that they now have the smoking gun that shows the universe went through extremely rapid expansion in the moments after the big bang, growing from the size of a marble to a volume larger than all of observable space in less than a trillion-trillionth of a second.”

I just don’t get this kind of stuff. Either I’m too stupid or else physicists think they’re a lot smarter than they really are. While it doesn’t amaze me that we can SAY anything about what transpired in the first trillionth of a second of the universe, it would amaze me if ANY of it were true or even close to it. I mean c’mon, scientists can’t agree on basic things, like what’s REALLY the healthiest diet and what REALLY causes disease. We can’t find Bin Laden but we know the universe was once the size of a marble? Maybe it just hurts my brain too much. I can’t picture a marble without picturing some space around it. So how can the marble be “the universe” and the space be something else? Asking “who made the universe?” just begs the question “who made the maker?”–and off we go. I can’t even get to the bottom of “who made the mess on the stove?”

“Stopping Starvation with Meditation”

To sum up this latest video clip on Integral Naked:

Wilber begins by saying that it is very difficult (although not impossible) to transform, i.e. move up stages of consciousness, after the age of 25. He says there’s been an “enormous amount of studies” that demonstrate that psychotherapy and other approaches to personal transformation only move a person up about a quarter of a stage (“statistically insignificant” according to Wilber). Upon this foundation (which feels a little shaky to me), Wilber lays out three “facts” which, taken together, lead him to his conclusion.

Fact #1: Studies show that meditation over the course of four years can move people almost two stages on average.

Fact#2: Famine only occurs in societies that don’t have democratic governments.

Fact#3: Democratic systems are a Moral Stage Five product.

“Therefore, it follows that the single greatest thing that the world can do to stop starvation is to meditate. Nothing else has been demonstrated to move people stages.”

Here are a few issues as I see them:

(1) Should Integral Institute place more emphasis on social activism and less on “navel gazing?”
(2) Is Wilber’s thinking really based on a careful deliberation of “the evidence,” or is he just hand picking whatever studies he can find that can be used to support his ideas, translating and interpreting the “facts” to suit his pre-determined agenda?
(3) [Really a continuation of (2)] Is there a circularity to Integral Theory such that Ken Wilber is found to be the Center of the Integral Universe? Which way does the little ball bounce: Ken meditates and Ken sees meditation as the “single greatest thing that the world can do.” Ken lifts weights and Ken sees resistance training as the “ultimate” physical component of an Integral Life Practice. Stuart Davis, Eddie K., Serge from S.O.D. and Billy Corgan all read and love Ken’s books, so their music must be “Integral.” Anyone who gets Integral Theory is, by definition, a “second tier” thinker.

I don’t think that Wilber is saying that the ONLY thing we should do to alleviate world hunger is to meditate. Of course, he would advocate an integral approach, addressing the issue from every conceivable angle. It’s just that I often get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach when he bolsters his arguments with vague references to “studies” and “evidence” which, upon further investigation, can turn out to be pretty obscure, self-serving, and way too small scale to build strong conclusions upon.

Wilber was citing studies involving “meditation” in a particular sense. I don’t know the specifics, but I imagine that in order to be considered properly scientific, the researchers probably defined meditation in terms of a particular form that all the participants followed. But who’s to say what’s really going on within an individual’s consciousness while they practice a particular form of meditation? For one person, the first five years of zazen practice might be a striving to achieve some sort of special, spiritual experience, preparing one for some big moment of realization down the line that there’s no”I” to achieve anything. For another, sitting in meditation is simply an expression of an already-apprehended realization of peace and contentment. I know from my own experience that there is a particular attitude or mode of awareness that accompanies and is strengthened by a number of practices I consider “spiritual” and “transformative.” For me, there something going on during the creative process (while playing and writing music) which feels the same as what’s going on while I do sensory awareness stuff on my floor, which feels the same as what’s going on while I make love, which feels the same as what’s going on when I sit zazen… In other words, there are principles of transformation that go way beyond any particular form of practice, so that propping up one’s own favorite forms (like sitting meditation and weight-lifting) with references to “studies” feels too biased, like it’s partially an unconscious attempt to justify one’s own choices. I’m not saying we should ignore research, I’m just suggesting that what we consider significant or insignificant can often be more a matter of personal bias than anything else. We all do this to a certain extent, I think. We unconsciously employ selective attention to highlight those “studies” and arguments and ideas that justify and maintain our current “status quo.” So, IF Integral Institute is or becomes too much about Ken Wilber’s particular perspective, then the inevitable shadow cast will blot out too much good stuff, even as the Integral Vision seeks to include as much as possible under its Big Umbrella.

Ken Wilber

One of the coolest things about Wilber is his commitment to making sense of a situation, allowing his intuition, unconscious processes and gut instincts to work on a problem and eventually bring forth a creative response. Think of the twenty-three year old kid trying to synthesize western psychology and eastern spirituality in Spectrum of Consciousness. Or the Big Bald Guy sequestered in a room for three years, with charts and maps all over the floor, wondering how they all fit together (Sex, Ecology, Spirituality). This is what made him a hero of mine, and to this day his words are often infused with a sense of wonder, mystery and power that inspire me to grab life by the balls. We all probably have experienced the difference between a connected, embodied, integrated type of thinking and writing, and the more strained, contracted, neurotic attempts to patch up any sense of uncertainty, paradox or contradiction with a slick veneer of conceptual gimmickry. “Evidence” and the methods of science can be twisted to fit any agenda, consciously or unconsciously. We have all seen logic and reason co-opted by pathological currents in individuals and societies. All this is to say, if the centaur stage and beyond is to be characterized as “mind and body are both experiences of an integrated self,” then our “second tier” insights ought to invoke a feeling in us, a sense of something greater than ourselves, they should stir us in our depths, arouse our intuitive faculties. Wilber, at his best, does just this (for me, anyway). Where the theory leaves me cold — that’s where I do my digging.

I love the way Alan Watts used to handle criticism. Instead of taking up arms or further convoluting the situation, he would just laugh and say, “You mustn’t take what I say that seriously. I always exaggerate — for effect. I’m not so much making an argument as trying to invoke and inspire a sense of wonder, a state of consciousness.” I often wish Wilber would loosen up a little, hold his theories with a lighter touch. But then again, he’s already given us all quite a gift. It’s up to each of us to find our own authentic voice.