2008 August Archive at Headthegong.com

Archive for August, 2008

Hillary Clinton’s Convention Speech

Published on August 27, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Obama watching Clinton

I’ve long been fascinated by the process of personal change. Lately, I’ve especially been interested in how people change their minds. What better time than election season to see how the most powerful people in the world attempt to convince, dupe, or otherwise persuade their fellow Americans to think like they do — at least until the votes are counted.

Before the Democrats started duking it out for the nomination, I had my heart set on Barak Obama. On a policy level, I couldn’t see much difference between the top candidates, and I thought Obama’s inspirational rhetoric and diverse background might mobilize everyday citizens to get off the couch and actively participate in making positive change happen. I viewed Hillary Clinton as a polarizing figure that would only widen the chasm between an already divided nation. She also struck me as a shifty, do-whatever-it-takes-to-get-elected politician.

Somewhere along the line, Hillary won me over, not only because I came to realize that ALL the major candidates, including Obama, are shifty politicians, but also because Clinton repeatedly demonstrated a masterful ability to express her views, giving off an air of supreme confidence and competence. I still prefer Obama as the Democratic nominee, because I think he has a better chance to heal major divisions in this country and because lengthening the Bush-Clinton dynastic chain hurts our credibility as a shining example of democracy. As she showed last night, however, Hillary is an impressive speaker who can energize and mobilize voters. Which leaves me scratching my head as to why Obama did not choose her as his running mate. Hmmm…

I agree with Rudy Giuliani’s comments that choosing Hillary was a “no-brainer.” The atmosphere of enthusiasm and raw energy that defined Obama’s bid for the democratic nomination is fading fast, and bringing Hillary aboard would undoubtedly have re-energized his campaign and rallied millions of voters. I suppose one could make the argument that Joe Biden makes more sense from an “electoral map” or “undecided voter” perspective, but that’s assuming Hillary supporters will vote Obama whether or not she’s on the ticket. I just think the energy and enthusiasm factor was too much to sacrifice. So why did Obama pass Clinton over? Perhaps she didn’t want the job. Maybe they really don’t like each other. Who knows?

Meanwhile, the McCain campaign will continue to try to persuade us with the “experience” argument. Weak. After all, who’s got more experience on a presidential level than George W. Bush? Eight long years. He’s BEEN commander-in-chief. He’s met with all the world leaders. And if he could run again, I have no doubt he’d be neck-and-neck with Obama in the polls, just like McCain is. Because people’s voting habits have little to do with a preference for “experience.” People prefer the status quo because they fear change. And that’s how Karl Rove and Company play their game, by playing on Americans’ fears.

I think the energy and optimism of an Obama/Clinton ticket would’ve overcome that fear. It remains to be seen what Joe Biden can do, and whether or not Obama can re-energize Democrats and convince the fearful undecideds to give him a chance.

Conversational Intolerance

Published on August 25, 2008 in Personal and Philosophical. 4 Comments

I used to be merely indifferent to organized religion, never quite understanding how anyone could buy into it. I was raised without it, and I’m a “damned” good guy, if I do say so myself. I value the transpersonal or spiritual dimension of experience above all else, I treat others with respect and courtesy, and everyone who knows me considers me a “good person.” I’ve never had need of religion, while having a more or less “live and let live” attitude when it comes to what others believe. But the irrationality and downright insane thinking that characterizes religious fundamentalism of all stripes is on the rise, and has so infected politics and public discourse that maybe it’s time for reasonable people to say “Enough is enough.” The last straw for me was watching Barak Obama pander to the crowd at the Saddleback Mega-Church.

When Obama talked about Jesus dying for his sins and all that, I nearly puked. Now, this is a pretty strong reaction I must admit, but there was something about the whole atmosphere of the forum, with the flock applauding on cue, and Obama parsing his words just so, that pushed my buttons and filled me with dread. First off, I have been rooting for Obama throughout this campaign season, but lately (and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing) I’ve been disillusioned, disappointed, and disenchanted with him and his “meet the new boss, same as the old boss” sucking up to an electorate that proves time and again that ignorance and thoughtlessness are now part and parcel of American society.

The whole question of faith, belief, or lack thereof, is particularly troubling to me. The fact of the matter is, if Obama or any other politician shares MY worldview, he or she would have to lie through their teeth about it in order to be elected to public office. And that’s exactly what I think Obama did by portraying himself as a devout believer, when this does not fit at all with the rest of his vibe. I could be wrong, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that an America that requires its leaders to take part in organized religion is an America that I am losing faith in. I mean, if you think that a literal reading of the Bible and the theory of evolution represent equally valid perspectives of the development of life on earth, then you are not someone who should be running a large, powerful country in an increasingly complex global society. Such a display of distorted thinking should disqualify a person from being elected to public office, but in the United States — in the year 2008!!! — it’s a prerequisite that you at least pretend such beliefs are worthy of respect, and it’s certainly a prerequisite that you claim to be a believer in God Almighty.

I watched some TV preacher this morning talk about how THE most important thing anyone can do for their children is to teach them to believe in the Bible as the absolutely true Word of God. And here I am feeling just as certain that this is one of THE WORST things anyone could do to their child, that it’s a form of spiritual abuse to indoctrinate someone in this way. And these differences in belief have major consequences, from who is president to whether or not we wage war. So why do so many of us bite our tongues? Well, speaking for myself, it’s because so many of my friends and family members believe things I find very troubling, and I fear that speaking my mind will forever damage these valuable relationships. And so I blog anonymously and hope certain people don’t find me out.

I find myself more and more appreciating the ballsy efforts of the likes of Sam Harris and Bill Maher, and their use of “conversational intolerance,” which is simply a refusal to grant “off limits” status to matters of faith when assessing the validity of relative points of view. And yeah, there’s a certain sense of urgency involved that might ruffle some feathers. Some are more skilled than others, as Sam Harris has had numerous respectful debates with believers, including Saddleback’s Rick Warren, while Richard Dawkins comes across as a total dick most of the time.

True dialogue, true open-ended conversation is so rare, so precious. Do we really expect anyone — ourselves included — will have a change of heart as the so-called “Culture War” rages on? How is it that women ever got the right to vote? How can we bring change in a world that resists it at every turn? Should we fight harder or just lay down our arms? I don’t know. The whole thing is just religulous:

Seventh time’s a charm

Published on August 17, 2008 in Dustbin, Musical and Personal. 0 Comments

Who knows why certain things capture our imaginations. A few weeks ago my friend Bill posted a Joan Halifax essay on his blog called “The Lucky Dark.” The phrase comes from a translation of a St. John of the Cross poem, and basically it refers to all the dark, scary shit that we hate—like suffering, death, loss, and fear—but that also can be deeply transformative when embraced. Just as the phrase “Waiting for the miracle” captured my attention and guided my creative process for years, “The Lucky Dark” seized hold of me right away, and I knew it would be the title of my next album.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what I do musically, what it means to me, and how I see the process unfolding now that I’m back in Carrboro, NC. There’s quite a music scene here, and I had a great time being a part of it a few years ago when I played bass for My Dear Ella. My buddy Eric—the heart and soul of MDE—is still playing music here, fronting a new band called Death of the Sun, and presently putting the finishing touches on a new record that is going to be absolutely fantastic.

I’m not sure how I fit in to the music scene right now, or even that I fit in at all. When I settle in to my little studio on a Saturday evening, I’m just looking to open up and see what happens. The process is so wonderful, so enlivening, that the end result is almost beside the point. I share it here on my blog for a lot of reasons. Of course, I get a thrill when a little praise is thrown my way. But really my music is part of a bigger picture I’ve been sloppily painting for years now. For lack of a better word, it’s a spiritual practice, a way to connect with others and the depths of myself.

Last night I intended to record a song I’ve been kicking around for a few years. But when I went searching for drum beats, I tickled the virtual ivories a little on the way, and got lost there for the whole evening. Here’s what happened:

Seventh time’s a charm.mp3
I will pack my things
I will hit the road
I will not look back
Then I always look back
I will wait all night
for the words to come
Set them free like tears
Let them go like tears
Take me to the edge
This time I’ll jump right in
I won’t change my mind
for the seventh time

Enough

Published on August 9, 2008 in Personal. 0 Comments

I love it when a little epiphany strikes me when I least expect it. Yesterday I was walking between buildings on campus when I noticed a dead mouse lying next to a cigarette butt. I stood there for a few seconds in a daze, not sure what I was looking at. Suddenly I was laughing audibly and, furthermore, I felt completely free from the tension that had been building all week as I wrestled with job-related decisions. I suppose a dead mouse, in and of itself, isn’t all that funny but, for whatever reason, the juxtaposition of the mouse and cig-butt struck me as so absurd, I couldn’t contain myself. My only thought as I headed back to the office was “This is enough.”

As in, this is sufficient, just to be a human being, to breath and notice things and laugh once in a while. I had just interviewed the day before for a fairly well-paying mental health job. Had they offered me the job on the spot I would have accepted, for the simple reason that doing so would end the madness, the struggle not only to find a “permanent” job, but to be fearlessly honest with myself about what I really care about. Somehow, between me and the mouse, I was able to admit that it doesn’t matter to me whether I’m helping suffering people get better (what I’ve done for the better part of fifteen years) or whether I spend all day folding name tents, making copies, and editing course syllabi (what I’m doing at the moment). Truth is, if someone offered me a job with my ideal schedule (30 hours a week or three days off instead of two), I wouldn’t care what I spent my time doing, as long as I could make enough to deal with my expenses.

I mean, I wouldn’t participate in some evil enterprise, like helping to elect John McCain, but as long as the job didn’t stress me out too much and it involved pleasant interactions with people, then I could just as well be a mailman as a therapist. In fact, delivering supplies to various offices on the UNC Campus was probably the most enjoyable job I ever had. Cruising around campus in my beat-up truck, listening to the radio, leisurely strolling up and down the halls with a printer cartridge under my arm, the pleasant exchanges with the front desk workers as they signed the invoices. Too bad it only paid seven bucks an hour, or I might still be doing it.

This job I just interviewed for, it’s serious business, helping abused kids get the appropriate mental health services. It’s so important that you have to carry an emergency pager and be ready to jump in the car 24/7 to save the day in a crisis. Of course, you don’t get holidays off, because human suffering never takes a vacation. Presently, I’m the “Minister of Tedium” for the UNC Office of Whatever. If I put a staple in the wrong corner or use Times New Roman instead of Calibri, it’s no big deal. And I’m kinda liking that. Nothing’s ever really that big a deal.

What do I really want to do? I just want time to “be,” to live. To dick around on my guitar. To write on my blog. To snuggle on the couch with my wife while we watch a stupid romantic comedy. Without exception, I stuck with my previous mental health jobs not because I was “helping people,” but because those jobs fit into an overall life-picture that included a smile on my face. As soon as that smile disappeared, I disappeared. The fact that I was helping people was great, but it was never what kept me showing up day in and day out. I’ll always care about and try to connect with the people in my life. And damn it, that’s enough. In fact, it’s just perfect.

Goodbye Allison

Published on August 3, 2008 in Dustbin and Musical. 0 Comments

So I woke up from a nap yesterday, shuffled into my little studio, and dazedly recorded this little song before it drifted back into the ether.

Goodbye Allison.mp3

No, I don’t know anyone named Allison, and yeah, I suppose taking a picture of myself immediately after each new recording is pretty weird. Given the sad look on my face and sad tone of the song, I imagine folks might think I’m hopelessly depressed. I actually feel great at the moment, but admittedly there’s been an undercurrent of sadness this past week. My Mom has been in the hospital with heart trouble (she’s okay) and I miss my wife to an almost unbearable extent (she’s returning to the US in four weeks!). And besides, the creative process for me always seems to kick in during the dark times. When I’m happy I just enjoy the moment, and rarely feel like writing a song. Whatever — Here’s a happy photo I snapped about an hour later, after I spoke with my Mom on the phone.

When I’m alone too much I start to develop a peculiar relationship with myself, one that manifests in some peculiar ways. Taking photos of myself is just the tip of the iceberg people. The tip of the iceberg.