I once joked that Americans may just as well elect the next president via a reality TV show: “The Next American President.”
Not only do I believe a president COULD be elected this way, I’m starting to think it’s ACTUALLY happening. Instead of Simon, Paula and Randy we have Wolf Blitzer, Keith Olbermann and Bill O’Reilly.
All they need to do now is share the voting results in a suspenseful way, like Ryan Seacrest does:
“Barack [gasp] …You are safe [deep exhale]. You can have a seat. That means Hillary and John, you are in the bottom two. One of you will go home tonight. We’ll find out who, after a word from our sponsor.
[Returning] John, you sang “Working man’s blues.”
Wolf thought you were a bit too white, but he liked the way you stayed positive.
Keith thought your hygiene was immaculate, but he said your delivery was ‘Ho hum.’
Bill liked your energy, but thought you should’ve lost the southern accent.
Hillary, you sang “Black Magic Woman.”
Wolf thought it was your best performance yet.
Keith thought your voice was strong, but that your dance moves could use a little work.
Bill just snarled and called you a “Liberal Fascist.”
America has voted. Hillary, you are…
SAFE! Congratulations, you will be moving on to the finals.
John, I’m sorry, that means you will not be The Next American President.
We’ll miss you around here, big guy.
[Roll video montage]
John, how ’bout taking us out with one more stump speech.
America, let’s give it up one last time for John Edwards!”