“Don’t go to bed yet. Just push record and see what happens…”
Nothing at all
Even if I’m tired, even if I only have ten minutes before I go to bed, I can still do something creative. Or I can do nothing at all.
Dark tide
A song by Emmett Tinley that’s been haunting me for a few months…
[It hurts to lose you – Emmett Tinley]
January was blinding
As we climbed from the basement
Said goodbye for the last time
In a bar by the grand canal
Thanks for confiding
The pain you were hiding
But don’t let the silence
Come back to your eyes
‘Cause I heard the music
Your soul was making
It hurts to lose you
Just before we made it
You took my hat with a sad smile
And paid me back with your photograph
Though I needed to know why
I tried only to make you laugh
After you left the sky
Rained for the first time
And I went to see what I
Could find to blow my mind
And I heard the music
Your soul was making
It hurts to lose you
Just before we made it
Now you write mad poetry
In your room with dead roses
Just one more life story
That cries from the ocean
And wait for the dark tide
That comes to you day and night
Is it too late to take your side
Too late to win the fight?
‘Cause I heard the music
Your soul was making
It hurts to lose you
Just before we made it
Echoes
I do other stuff too, but mostly I amuse myself.
April 8
A cover of a Neutral Milk Hotel song…
Past life
I suppose the trip to San Francisco last weekend put me in a nostalgic mood. Who am I kidding? I’m always in a nostalgic mood! At any rate, having a few days to myself for the Thanksgiving break has afforded me the luxury of fiddling around in the studio for a few hours. Apologies in advance for the numerous copyright violations, as I stole the outro from my buddy Eric, not to mention the video footage, which is from a 2005 My Dear Ella show.
I stumbled through the parking lot
Looking for my keys
The moon was hiding in the clouds
Got on my hands in knees and then
I asked myself some questions like
Did I believe in God
And if tonight was all the time I had
What would I spend it on
And then the thought suddenly came to me
That you might be awake
And so I dialed your number but
I guess it was too late
I started walking
till I could not feel my legs
I stepped out in the open air
And stood on my two feet
And looked out through my own two eyes
And started down my street
Until I came across a man who said he
Had no place to stay and asked me could I lend a hand before
I headed on my way and I said come and have a drink with me
And tell me of your life and then we drifted in the open air until we saw the light
That shone out from the neon sign and cut through all the clouds that settled down around
The rooftops like a thick and heavy shroud
We started falling
till we were deep in ground
It’s everything
The breath behind these notes I sing
The empty space inside the ring
The sacrifice I’m offering
The irresistibility
It dragged me down like gravity
I dropped down to my hands and knees
And pulled the earth up over me
The difference between now and then
The distance there and back again
Like footprints under breaking waves
A dream that slowly drifts away
The sunlight’s breaking through the clouds
The seeds are sleeping in the ground
Your smile it spun my heart around
And knocked the walls around it down
I wonder where you are tonight
I wonder if you’re sleeping tight
And dreaming of your past life
*[“Don’t let it crush you” outro is borrowed from My Dear Ella’s “The Majesty”]*
Little fingers
Perhaps this will be a new trend: Spending ten minutes laying down a rough acoustic demo, then half the day setting it to hundred-year-old silent movie footage. Copyright laws aside, I had fun with this:
When everything is dubious and put to the test
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Tied up and tedious, and dragged from the bed
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Surrounded by memories and lingering limbs
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Wandering, restless, and made of mistakes
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Heavy and heavenly, this weight on my chest
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Halfhearted melody, fragmented phrase
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Battered and Beautiful, like flickering flames
[Little fingers forget, little fingers forget]
Sleepwalking
It’s a been period of struggle, creatively, so it feels like parting with an enormous turd to get a tune out and into the world. Or a baby, or something. Yeah, a baby…
The recorded narration is the psychologist Wilhelm Reich, and the old man in the video is Henry Miller. What do these two men have in common, besides being deceased? Well, each man managed to intensely capture my interest several years ago, when I thought I was on the path to eventual enlightenment. I must have taken a wrong turn some where along the line… The song isn’t really about either one of them, of course. Or maybe it is, I don’t know. What I do know is that I enjoy this weird style of musical exploration, so I’m going to keep doing it as long as it feels interesting. And yeah, I also know that I’m breaking all kinds of copyright laws by playing around with audio and video footage created by others, but it’s only playing, after all. Fortunately, only a few people have ever paid the slightest attention to anything I’ve ever done, so I think I’ll avoid doing any hard time.
Henry Miller? Wilhelm Reich? Look, I’ve had a wee bit much to drink and I’ve handed the keys over to the “muse.”
Sometimes I think you faked your death
So I’d stop faking my whole life
I take and take till nothing’s left
I get it wrong till nothing’s right
It’s only hard to say goodbye
When you don’t really want to go
I never understood your pain
I never really wanted to know
And if you didn’t see the sun rise
Well at least you had a look at the stars
And if you didn’t play your cards right
At least you didn’t throw ‘em in
And while I was out sleepwalking
The sun burned up in your eyes
But then everything was taken
I got a secret to confess
I’m only in it for the love
Now you’ve gone and put me to the test
To live my life like I dreamed of
And every time I see sun rise
And whenever I look up at the stars
And when I’m singing to the ceiling
With everything I hold in my heart
I’ll remember what you told me
and the way the sun burned in your eyes
And the gift that I was given
Jealous guy (feat. J. Lennon)
The “album” version, featuring Mr. Lennon himself…
Jealous guy
Still trying to figure out how to get the right live-acoustic sound…
The first time I heard this song was on a mix-tape a friend made for me (Thanks Parker!). It was a cover version by Elliot Smith. Strangely, I didn’t know it was Elliot Smith until today, when I saw his version linked to mine on YouTube (the mix-tape was actually a CD, and none of the songs were labeled). A few years ago, I heard the original John Lennon version of the tune, which sounded weird to my ears, since I had heard the Elliott Smith version first. My version is, of course, a bit different from the original and the Smith cover. Somehow, in my hands, a song takes on a added share of gloom. The tempo slows, things get a bit… lugubrious.
A cover of a cover — there are many tunes I play that fall into this category. It seems that whatever version of a song I hear first, I like best: The Jimi Hendrix version of All along the Watchtower, GNR’s Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Sorry Dylan!), Jeff Buckley’s take on Hallelujah.
Anyway, I’ll do a cover of a cover of a cover, if the spirit moves me. I have no shame…