Old Strings

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It’s been raining cats and dogs all day and I haven’t accomplished much other than taking Mary Alice to school and playing a few tunes on the guitar. I miss the days when I used to play all the time, recording every little thing that came to my mind. Every impulse felt important, like I was duty-bound to preserve every riff, every harmony idea, so that one day — when I had a year-and-a-half of uninterrupted free time — I could carry it all to fruition. I have carried a few ideas forward, most of which are featured on this site. But seriously, I would actually need at least a year-and-a-half to honor every song idea in those stacks of cassette tapes.

The truth of the matter, however, is that I like most of the recordings as they stand, just the way they are in their nascent form. Sometimes it feels like sacrilege to tamper with something that came to me so freely, like it can when someone snaps a picture of a pure and private moment. Some songs are too special to record, some experiences too precious to be captured.

I’m not sure why I like this one so much, but not too long ago I recorded the following extemporaneous bit as I was testing my microphone’s sound level: Old Strings.mp3. I played it again today to warm up my voice. It made me feel at home in my bones.

Dust

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My former band, My Dear Ella, just played its last show with original drummer and soul brother Jeff D. I remember my last show with the band a few years ago, all the emotion pent up, the terrible sense of sorrow and nostalgia, the swell of love for my friends, the ache of feeling like I was letting go of our dreams. Eric–the originator and creative force behind MDE–is now the only original member left rocking the Chapel Hill, NC music scene. Eric and Jeff were both at my wedding in May, and the bond between us is still strong. And although I continue to create music inspired by our shared vision and experiences together, I can’t help but feel that sorrow and heart-breaking nostalgia once again, as the final echoes of Jeff’s booming drum beats fade into the ether.

Tonight I drank some beers and played an old tune, one that I had once hoped would make the official My Dear Ella set list someday. I didn’t stick around long enough to play my songs onstage with the boys, but I remember Jeff saying he liked this one when he heard the demo. Tonight it was just me on the acoustic guitar, a little out of sorts and a little out of tune, but I felt you with me brother.

Dust.mp3
I tried to sleep
and my soul to keep
but I let it slip away
Now I want
and I need
and I beg you please
don’t leave me on my knees
I’ll try again
if you just say when
This time I’ll get it right
You’re right
You win
so lock me in
and throw away the key
You better suck it down
You better take it in
You better play the game
You’re never gonna win
You better give it up
Get down upon your knees
and take it like a man
Take everything you see
and turn it upside down
tear it inside out
light it up in flames
and burn it to the ground
Turn it into dust
and blow it all away
You better write this down
Do everything I say

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