Quarter given, blessing received

reverse_panhandling1.jpgThis morning I was waiting at the bus stop when a man hollered at me from across the street: “Hey friend, do you have a quarter? I’m trying to get me something to eat.” I waved him over and gave him the handful of change I had in my backpack—somewhere between a buck or two. He seemed very appreciative (and a little drunk) and bid me adieu with “Have a blessed day.”

Of course, this same scenario plays out all the time, at least once a week for me on the streets of Carrboro and Chapel Hill. Some days I give, some days I don’t. I always CAN give, if I really want to, but I’m not sure what drives my decision on any given occasion. It has nothing to do with whether or not I think the person is really going to buy food, instead of say, drugs. Safety is a consideration, though, as I’m not going to reach into my backpack or stop to engage with someone if I get the slightest vibe of danger. I think it has mostly to do with connection—how connected I feel with the person asking, and how connected I am to my own sense of gratitude for my “blessed” life.

This morning I felt pretty blessed. My wife is home, after a long time away. I had a restful night’s sleep in my comfortable apartment. A nice, rich cup of coffee and a yummy breakfast. My life is good—a fact I can’t seem to shake since returning from a poverty-stricken area of Mexico last year. People adapt to whatever situation they find themselves in, and it’s possible to be happy and healthy even in circumstances that seem unbearable to someone else. In fact, many people have felt pity for ME in recent months, seeing that I’ve been living apart from my wife, struggling to find meaningful work, going it without any insurance, etc.

It’s all relative, I guess. The truth of the matter is this: I am more privileged—in terms of lifestyle, support and opportunity—than the VAST majority of human beings that are living and have ever lived. When I feel this in my bones it’s hard NOT to spare a quarter, and hard to complain about anything. Of course, I forget this all the time, but lately I’ve been deliberately reminding myself of such things. And I’ve been much more disciplined about engaging in activities (like meditation, somatics, playing music, writing) that leave me feeling more grounded, present, awake and alive. Maybe I’ll actually keep it going this time around. That would be a true blessing.

Live from Carrboro, it’s Saturday Night!

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It’s been a long while since I just wrote for the sake of writing. For years, that’s what this blog was all about—tapping in to some place in me that felt alive, and then letting loose with whatever came up. There are a million reasons, I’m sure, why I’ve been keeping things somewhat bottled up. My wife and I have been separated by vast distances of time and space (due to her grad school research), and I tend not to write when wife and/or family issues are looming large. My Dad’s been sick these past months also. Mostly though, it’s just the same old story of forgetfulness—I forget how important uncensored creative expression is to me. Writing in this way is one of my key grounding practices, along with rocking out, meditation and somatics.

I’ve been through this cycle so many times—forgetting, remembering, forgetting again—that I’ve stopped beating myself up over it. Forgetting is simply part of the whole thing. At least it is for me, at this point in my life. As I type this (on the patio of the Looking Glass coffee shop in Carrboro) there are several young people—late teens, early twenties at the most—hanging out, smoking and shooting the shit. It seems strange to me to distinguish “young” people from myself, but at 38 I’m finally starting to feel the effects of aging. There’s just no denying it. I’m old enough to be these kids’ father. Fucking mind-blowing. Thursday was my father’s 65th birthday, and my good buddy Jeff’s 40th. My wife and I have been together for 8 years.

38 years old and working a temp job at the local university! Truthfully, that doesn’t bother me at all. My peers with their nice jobs and their nice houses and their nice kids don’t seem any more fulfilled than I am. No worse off, perhaps, but no better. We’re all trying to figure out what’s going on. This process of getting older, of starting to know, deep down in my bones, that it’s all fading away, is something that’s been dominating my awareness lately. It’s as if I’m interpreting everything in my life through this lens. Sounds morbid, I know, but it’s not really. It doesn’t feel that way to me at least. It seems natural that I’d be contemplating such things at this point in my life.

Wow, this “letting her rip” stuff is starting to sputter already! I’m out of practice I guess. A writer writes. A guitar player plays guitar. A passive consumer of entertainment media passively consumes entertainment media. I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying anymore. But I do miss this, and I hope I don’t forget it too soon. There something bubbling up inside me and it wants to express itself in seventeen different directions and in seventeen different ways. I want to write, I want to create music, I want to develop my Integral Health business, I want to open up in social situations, I want to learn Spanish, I want play in a rock band, I want let go of everything I think I know and see what happens.

I’m very fortunate to have the time, the comfortable lifestyle, the good health, and the supportive people in my life that make it possible for me to sit around and contemplate this shit. Today, right now, I’m not taking any of it for granted.

At least I remembered that much.

Enough coffee. Now I’m off to join my friends for some Saturday night revelry…

Integral Health?

[This is cross-posted @ IntegralHealthResources.com]

Question: What does “Integral” mean? What’s the difference between integral, integrative, holistic, mind/body, wellness, etc.?

My answer: As I use the term, “integral” refers to any approach that brings together multiple perspectives in an effort to address the multiple dimensions of human life. In this sense, the term “integral” is basically interchangeable with “integrative” and “holistic.” As a matter of personal preference, I like the term “integral.” I graduated from the California Institute of Integral Studies, which is grounded in the Integral Psychology of founder Haridas Chaudhuri, and I’m also a big fan of Ken Wilber’s “four quadrant” integral theory.

In general, however, the terms integral, integrative, holistic, mind/body, and wellness are all meant to convey “whole person” approaches to health and healing, as opposed to the disease-focused system associated with conventional medicine.

Keeping in mind that most, if not all, healthcare practitioners—whether in conventional settings or integrative health centers—would claim to be treating the “whole person,” I agree with the following distinctions Dr. Elliott Dacher makes between conventional, complimentary and alternative, integrative, and integral approaches:

[Article featured on Davi Nikent.org]

The evolution of medicine in modern times has been from allopathic or conventional, to alternative and complementary, to integrative and now to integral.

These can be defined as:

Conventional: The traditional approaches of medical science.
Alternative and Complementary: Healing approaches outside of the mainstream of western medical science.
Integrative: The merging of conventional, alternative and complementary approaches under a single “umbrella” of care.

Each of the preceding approaches, as they are currently and predominantly practiced in western culture, primarily focus on the biological or physical aspects of healing, emphasizing the role of professionals and their specialties, remedies and therapies in the treatment of physical disturbances. It is the recognition that these approaches have not addressed the whole person and therefore limit what can be achieved in health and healing that has driven the development of an integral approach.

Integral: The expansion of the health and healing process to address the entire range of the human experience: biological, psychospiritual, relational and cultural. All are seen to contribute to the disease process and to health and healing. The expansion of consciousness, the inner aspect of healing, rather than the outer “medical tool kit” is a central aspect of the integral approach. The aim of integral medicine is broader than all preceding approaches to health and healing. The aim is to gain freedom from suffering and to experience the flourishing of the full potential of our humanity – the natural arising of an inner peace, wholeness, love, compassion and joy – that can sustain itself throughout the life cycle irrespective of the presence or absence of disease. This can only be achieved with an integral approach to healing that considers all aspects of the human condition.

From the Practitioner’s Perspective:

As a conventional practitioner I would approach the individual from the perspective of the physical symptom and disease, limiting my diagnosis and treatment options to those of western science. As an alternative and complementary practitioner I would approach the physical symptom and disease from the perspective of my particular training (acupuncture, chiropractic, nutritional, etc.) and formulate a diagnostic and treatment plan in relationship to my specialty. An integrative care approach combines conventional and alternative approaches to offer a broader spectrum of choices when treating the individual’s symptoms or disease. As an Integral practitioner I would approach the patient first looking at their entire life circumstance – biological, psychosocial, relational and cultural – focusing on the whole person rather than the disease, symptom, or my particular specialty, my diagnosis would include concerns in each of these areas of life and my healing plan would cover the broad range of needs and possible approaches necessary to move towards a larger health of the whole person. Because as an integral practitioner my vision is broader so also is that which can be achieved, a human flourishing vs. a physical healing. As an integral healer I must be in a transformative process myself as the driving force for a larger healing is not merely biological knowledge but an understanding and growth into a larger consciousness. An expanding consciousness is a key ingredient of an integral process.

Elliott Dacher, MD
March 2005

Integrative Health Coaching Training at DUKE: Module Four

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[The photo is of the “Labyrinth” at Duke Integrative Medicine]

It’s hard to believe, but Sunday my training came to an end and my friends and I were sent out into the world, certificates in hand, as Integrative Health Coaches. This last four-day module flew by, but fortunately we had plenty of time and space to reflect on and celebrate our four months together.

As with the previous modules, there were fascinating presentations (on Genomics, Spirtuality and Health, Business and Marketing) and opportunities to learn, practice and review coaching skills. It was the final module, though, so the major theme was “next steps,” as in: “What are you all actually going to do with this training, and how are you going to do it?” Of course, each of us has a unique answer to that question, and some of us (me!) are still trying to figure it all out.

To all those who’ve been following these posts to get the “inside scoop” on the training program, here’s the bottom line: It’s excellent. If you came across the description on the Duke website and thought to yourself, “This sounds amazing, but I wonder if it’s really worth it”—It’s totally worth it. There were a few participants who struggled at times and voiced some minor criticisms of the program privately, but everyone of them also expressed deep gratitude for the experience as a whole. Of course, no training will meet everyone’s needs and expectations. That said—I’ve been around the block a few times and have participated in trainings sponsored by mainstream, respected institutions, as well as a few interesting, yet kinda New-Agey/Woo-Woo affairs. This Integrative Health Coaching training at Duke Integrative Medicine has been hands-down, THE BEST. Solid, grounded in rigorous research, expertly crafted and delivered, and yeah, a little touchy-feely at times. But the mushy stuff came from a place of such open-heartedness and authenticity that it softened even the prickliest of us.

Most of all, though, this training was about the people—both those who instructed us and the forty or so of us who came from all over the country to form this community of kindred spirits. Many of us will continue to network and work together as we carry our visions forward in the world. What an amazing group of people! Thank you all.

If anyone has further questions about anything, feel free to comment here or email me at “isaacdust at gmail dot com.” You can also check out my professional website-in-progress, Integral Health Resources.com.

Music Spotlight: Minor Stars

mslogo3.jpgIt’s been nearly six years since I’ve performed live on stage. That’s all going to change one week from today when Eric, Matt and I make our debut as Minor Stars at the Pinhook in Durham, NC.

Am I excited? Yes.

Am I feeling a little anxious? Yes.

Did I just poop my pants?

Hold on a minute…

Yes.

Rock!!!!!!

Here are the details:

MINOR STARS

5/9/2009 10:00 PM at The Pinhook
117 Main Street, Durham, North Carolina 27701

Grappling Hook Record Release Party: Grappling Hook (12pm), Minor Stars (11pm), Le Weekend (10pm)

Integrative Health Coaching Training at DUKE: Module Three

Jon Seskevich

It’s been about three weeks since Module Three, which means it’s only a few weeks until the fourth and final module. Things are happening so fast that it’s hard to keep track of what happened during Module Three, what happened in the weeks since, and what’s happening in my own head from moment to moment. Off the top of my head:

Module Three was awesome, as the entire training has been. We learned more coaching skills—specifically, how to work with people who have psychological issues, and how to do “group coaching”—and we practiced those skills on each other. The always inspiring Tracy Gaudet (Director of Duke Integrative Medicine) gave us an update on what she’s been up to lately. In February, Dr. Gaudet presented at the “Summit on Integrative Medicine and the Health of the Public,” in Washington, DC, where she made the case for Integrative Health Coaching’s place in the future of Integrative Medicine. Dr. Evangeline Lausier gave a fascinating presentation on “nutritional supplements and botanicals.” Janet Shaffer taught us all about acupuncture and oriental medicine, and Dr. Jeff Brantley (Director the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program) did another wonderful session with us.

Of all the presenters—all of whom were very impressive—I was particularly impressed with Jon Seskevich, a nurse clinician at Duke Medicine who teaches stress and pain management skills to patients, most of whom are dealing with very challenging health conditions. Jon just blew me away with his gentle nature, his radiant kindness and his boundless compassion for others. He taught me a meditation technique that I used the very next day in the midst of difficult situation—and it was incredibly helpful.

We also met with some folks who graduated from the inaugural training (ours is only the second cohort to move through the training) to discuss setting up a professional association for Integrative Health Coaching. The staff at Duke is very supportive and we anticipate a future website where our community can come together and raise the field to new levels of awesomeness.

Speaking of new websites, Duke Integrative Medicine’s has a great new look, and my own website (Integral Health Resources.com) is shaping up rather nicely, if I do say so myself.

What more can I say. It’s all very exciting, and I look forward to Module Four, graduation, and then bringing all this into the world somehow (I’m still figuring that one out!).

Boo-ya!

Anything plus ignorance equals crap

religulous

So I watched Bill Maher’s “Religulous” movie the other day and, for the most part, I had the typical “non-believer” response—a general feeling of smug superiority coupled with a diminished sense of hope for the human race. Of course, Maher presents mostly the kookiest nut-jobs he could find (which unfortunately includes Arkansas Senator Mark Pryor), sidestepping the undeniable fact that there are many, many highly intelligent religious people who hold nuanced beliefs that are not so easy to dismiss. I know several people who are smarter and more sensitive than I am who are down with Jesus, so that right there takes the stance “religious people are morons” right off the table.

I get Maher’s main point though, and I agree with it: People believe some crazy shit! But ignorance and stupidity are hardly limited to religious beliefs. How about politics? And yes, even science! We all pay attention to certain things and ignore other things, depending on cultural conditioning, unconscious processes, choices, and whatever other random shit. “Paying” attention is an apt metaphor too, because there are multiple vendors competing to make a sale, and we’re always buying what someone is selling. Critical thinking skills and self-awareness are a couple of the tools we use to make sense out of what we’ve paid attention to, fashioning the whole ball of wax into what we believe. Whatever we are unaware or ignorant of won’t be included in our belief system, and the less that’s included, the more distorted the belief system.

Most of the yahoos interviewed by Maher were ignorant of the basic content and history of their own religions. A lot of them seemed dimwitted to boot. They had whacky religious views, sure, but I bet their understanding of politics and science is a little off too. So, it’s not religion per se that’s problematic. The problem, as I see it, is that ignorance and dimwittedness are and always have been part and parcel of human societies. This cluelessness is encouraged and exploited by multiple institutions, including religions, governments, and even scientific research departments at universities. We always hear that religion and politics are all about money and power, but few want to acknowledge just how “ridiculous” science can be, and is, when corrupted by those same dark forces.

It’s fashionable these days to pit science against religion, as if the former represented objective truth and the latter blind faith. This is off the mark, as far as I’m concerned. Take psychiatry, for instance. You see all these authoritative figures in hospitals and universities, dressed up in white coats sometimes, preaching from their “Bible” of mental disorders, The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). All these “leading scientists” from the “leading institutions” releasing their latest studies showing how our personal problems—like anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, our inattentive children—are essentially matters of faulty brain chemistry or bad genes. They show us the brain scans to prove it, and assure us that the latest drug treatment has been shown to be effective. Scientific and objective, right? Yet this article in The Washington Post leads off with: “Every psychiatric expert involved in writing the standard diagnostic criteria for disorders such as depression and schizophrenia has had financial ties to drug companies that sell medications for those illnesses”. Gee, I wonder if that set-up distorts the scientific process any?

Now, I’m not saying that science is a religion or any crap like that. I’m just saying that science plus ignorance equals bad science, just as religion plus ignorance equals bad religion. In my personal experience, most of what passes for religion in our society is bad religion. As a naturally curious and philosophically inclined person, I’ve engaged hundreds of people in dialogues about their religious beliefs. My general conclusion is that most people believe what they do simply because some authority figure told them it was so. No critical thinking, no compelling reasons, no real dialogue possible. Whatever. People believe whatever keeps them most comfortable, it seems. The believer’s anxiety is assuaged and the preacher’s car has heated leather seats. It’s a win – win.

Unfortunately, the “science” of psychiatry is sliding into the same pile of horse-poop. For instance, “Say it ain’t so Joe” Biden introduced the “Recognizing Addiction as a Disease Act of 2007,” in which he declared “addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disease.” The National Institute on Drug Abuse, the National Institute on Alcohol, and Twelve Step groups all over the country already endorse the same general disease model, so it must be true, right? Well, Stanton Peele, for one, doesn’t think so, and neither do I. The notion that chemical imbalances or “brain diseases” cause psychological problems takes a partial truth (namely, that all subjective experience correlates with some pattern of neurological/biological activity), ignores several other partial truths (like that life experiences can and do shape the structure and function of the brain), and arrives at a badly distorted conclusion that keeps drug companies rolling in dough, certain researchers rolling in grant money, and the rest of us blissfully ignorant as we hand over the reins of our health and happiness to authority figures. Sound familiar?

End of rant.

Integrative Health Coaching Training at DUKE: Module Two

Wheel of Health

Another four days of intense training at Duke Integrative Medicine have come and gone. Two modules down, two to go, and I’m feeling very good about the whole process. It was great to see everyone again, especially the other trainees. There was at least as much richness and learning happening during break times and lunch as there was during the training sessions. We were also given a block of program time to network in small groups of folks with similar interests and target populations. Most of the trainees intend to apply this training to their current job settings—places like hospitals, health care centers, schools, fitness centers, yoga studios, etc. My group was composed of the six or seven of us who are looking to start our own businesses/private practices. I know next to nothing about the ins and outs of business, marketing, insurance, taxes and that whole ball of wax, so it was very helpful for me to get the others’ perspectives. I’m pretty sure the trainers plan to cover some of the basics in a future module, but this initial brainstorming session was great. One of my big insights so far is that I don’t have to make everything happen on my own. The sense of community is really powerful at these trainings, and it’s changing the way I understand the idea of what a career can be.

We covered several topics related to Integrative Health in this module: nutrition, exercise, weight loss management, and the importance of one’s physical environment. Mindfulness is always emphasized, which I love. The chef—who’s been serving us fantastic gourmet meals everyday—put on a cooking class and we also practiced with some mindful eating. As always, the trainers gave us a ton of information—very well organized and with references to the supporting research—and the presenters were each experts in their respective fields who are affiliated with Duke Medicine.

Of course, we also spent many hours on coaching practice, breaking up into dyads or triads while the trainers floated around and offered feedback. The trainers also did several coaching demos to model specific skills and illustrate coaching concepts.

At the end, as in Module One, we were divided into groups of three, members of which will be practicing together via weekly conference calls during the month or so leading into Module Three. I’m looking forward to the calls, to the next module, to the networking with new friends and associates, and to working on my business plan and website.

No kidding

Babies crying

Don’t get me wrong—I love kids. In fact, if I’m at a family gathering, I spend far more time playing with the kids than I do schmoozing with the adults. I gotta say though, I’m finding that the mere fact that I’ve chosen to be childless (at least for now) tends to push peoples’ buttons. And then, of course, my buttons get pushed and we’re on like Donkey Kong. Having kids seems to be at the very heart of many peoples’ value systems, and thus my very existence can make some uneasy. It’s kinda like being a non-believer surrounded by religious people (also true in my case, but that’s another story).

It seems to me that—among well-educated secular/moderate types at least—parenting is simply a lifestyle choice. My friends and relatives who have kids made a conscious decision to have them, presumably because they wanted to be parents. And I don’t have kids because I don’t want to spend my time parenting. It’s as simple as that. Yet, when I’m asked why I don’t want kids, this simple answer doesn’t usually suffice. The thing that really burns my ass (or frosts my balls, depending on the weather) is when one of these baby-mommas or papas says or implies that my decision to be childless somehow reflects selfishness or self-centeredness on my part. Seriously, if I hear this from one more father out there I just might kick his baby-makers up through his eye-sockets.

I may decide tomorrow or next year that I do indeed want to be a Daddy, but a sudden conversion to selflessness wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with it. Just who do we have kids for? It can’t be for the kid, because he or she doesn’t exist yet. If selflessness is the ideal, then why not focus your time and energy on the suffering people already on the planet, at least on the little ones. Oh wait, I know…. Because they’re not your people, your little ones. They’re not part of you, in other words. Who’s selfish now! Who the hell am I talking to?

What got me going on all this is my place of work, an office at the local university. Most of my coworkers have kids, so there’s an atmosphere of acceptance and understanding when it comes to taking time off for the “sake of the children.” And boy oh boy do people take advantage of this little perk. I cannot recall a single week in the four months I’ve been here when one or more of my office-mates didn’t spend significant chunks of their forty “work” hours either at home or on several-hour-long lunch breaks, ostensibly tending to the needs of their children. Coincidentally, Fridays and Mondays seem to be the days the kids catch those pesky viruses. Now, I have no doubt that parenthood is demanding, and that kids really do get sick, even on Fridays and Mondays. There can be little doubt, however, that folks here are playing the kid card in some questionable situations. Hell, if I could use this no-questions-asked ticket to time off whenever I felt like it, it would be mighty tempting to cash in on those painful mornings following a crappy night’s sleep, or when I needed to get my car fixed or go to the post office.

So, if having kids is a matter of how a person chooses to live his or her life, then why am I getting screwed out of all this work-time flexibility? “I’ve had a song forming in my head all night, boss. I need to stay home today and get some basic tracks recorded.” I guess somebody has to be here to do the work while the mothers are mothering and the fathers fathering. “You’ll understand when you have kids of your own” is what they tell me. It’s always “when” and not “if.” I think I understand pretty well, though. Sharing a value system is really important to people. It’s important to me, too. Lately, I’m trying to focus more on the common ground I share with people, and it’s nice to feel connected.

But I still wouldn’t mind an occasional Friday off to take care of what matters most to me: [Deleted expletive]