Category: Personal

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Integrative Health Coaching Training at DUKE: Module One

Tracy Gaudet

I’m through the first of four modules of the Integrative Health Coaching Training Program at Duke Integrative Medicine (DIM) and I’m very impressed so far. The strongest impression was left by Tracy Gaudet, the program director (pictured above). This woman is just bursting with passion and enthusiasm for bringing a holistic paradigm into the mainstream of healthcare. Don’t take my word for it though, just check out this in-depth interview on NPR.

I also found this little piece from the local news, which gives a feel for what’s going on at DIM:

The health coach training is divided into four modules, spaced about a month a part, each lasting four full days. In this first module we learned all about the philosophy and research behind DUKE’s practice of integrative medicine. The building itself was designed and built in accordance with this holistic vision, and it has the feel of a retreat center as opposed to a medical facility. The waiting room features a “water wall,” which is basically a glass wall with water flowing down the sides, and every room in the place has a view of the surrounding woods. They have an on-site chef who fed us gourmet, healthful lunches everyday. The food was incredible, and would easily translate into a thirty dollar meal at a nice restaurant.

The participants in the training are very impressive as well. It’s a really diverse group, with folks from all over the country, and some from over seas. Many are nurses, physician assistants, and other health care professionals, but I also met a New York City Firefighter, a dancer from Thailand, a health educator from the middle east, and a whole bunch of other interesting people. It was an intense four days, with lots of information to process and several opportunities to practice the skills we’re learning. We’ll also be practicing our skills via weekly conference calls between modules.

Anyway, it’s been a great experience so far and I’m looking forward to the second module in late February.

What exactly am I going to do with this training, when it’s all said and done? I’m still pondering that one…

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Infidel

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I finally finished reading Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. I was familiar with Ali’s story via online videos of her talks, but reading her book gave me a much deeper appreciation of her struggles and accomplishments.

What struck me most powerfully as I read along was the contrast between Ali’s journey through life and my own. She and I are just about the same age. So, while she was having her genitals excised as a young child in Africa, at that exact moment in time I was in upstate New York, likely playing video games or watching “Little House on the Prairie.” When she was getting her head bashed in as a teenager for not realizing her proper place as a female, I was probably at the mall with my friends, trying to decide whether to get a slice of pizza or a cheeseburger. And when she was rescuing starving refugees, I may have been out drinking at a frat party. Two people, growing up on the planet Earth at the same point in history, yet existing in utter different worlds.

Growing up, I simply had no sense of what was going on around the world, of the way people struggle for and are often denied the basic liberties I take for granted. I’ve “known,” abstractly, through watching the news, that I live a life of privilege, but it wasn’t until I lived in Mexico last year that I truly realized just how fortunate I am to have been born to caring, middle class Americans in 1970.

Another thing that struck me: We worry so much about how every little misstep we make as parents will impact our children later in life. Well, here we have this woman who was beaten, degraded and devalued throughout her childhood, yet she went on to become a totally awesome person, a true hero really. So many of us have had every advantage, have been sheltered from every adversity, and yet still so often feel powerless to create positive change in our lives and in the world. Why is that?

Speaking for myself, I never fail to find some excuse—student loan debt is my favorite—for putting off my big dreams and best intentions. The truth is, there is nothing in my way except phantoms and fear. Infidel has reminded me of this, and left me feeling grateful and inspired.

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Integral Health Coaching

I’ve been working on a new project lately, namely to resolve this ongoing career dilemma of mine and finally start doing the kind of work I’ve been wanting to do for the past ten years. Through a stroke of good fortune/sweet synchronicity, I recently discovered Duke Integrative Medicine, which is right around the corner from me at Duke University. They have a brand new Integrative Health Coaching Training Program that is so “right up my alley” it’s just crazy. Check out the brochure if you’re curious to know the details.

I’ve been searching for years for a profession that would allow me draw upon my unique background, interests and strengths. This has been a struggle, because aside from my bachelor’s degree in Psychology and my fifteen years experience in mental health, most of my other interests and experiences are more “off the beaten path,” like my master’s degree in East/West Psychology, my training in Hanna Somatic Education, and my interest in mindfulness meditation. As an “Integrative Health Coach” (I prefer the term “Integral” to “Integrative” — which is nod to my grad school days at the California Institute of Integral Studies, as well as my fascination with philosopher Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory), I can bring all these things together, both to help people move toward better health and to help me finally feel at home in the work I do week in and week out.

So, I applied to the program, was accepted, and now damn it, I’m gonna do it! Look for my new website (integral health coaching dot com) a few weeks from now.

Boo-ya!

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Hi, my name is Bob, and I’m a struggler

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I’m a struggler. I grapple with life at every turn. My philosophy, of course, is more of a “connect to ground, then let go” kind of thing. But since I’m a struggler, my philosophy is just another thing I struggle to embody. It’s a two-handed stranglehold I’ve got going on: On the one hand, I struggle to get in touch with my deepest and most authentic intentions. And on the other hand, once I do get plugged in and grounded, I have a devil of a time staying on track once the initial wave of inspiration passes and I’m confronted by the fears and distractions that inevitably crop up.

Of course, sometimes the obstacles between insight and actualization are quite real—especially when the road ahead is a toll road. Heading in a new direction always seems to require a surplus of money, which requires work, which requires time and energy, which at the end of the day or week can leave me so drained and disconnected that I’d rather collapse on the couch and watch Family Guy instead of do that thing I was going to do, that thing that was part of my new way of being, that way of being that promises to take me in that new direction, and—who’s doing what now?

The world on Monday morning just doesn’t feel much like it did on Friday night. And those best of intentions that seemed so full of promise and potential energy…? Suddenly I’m not so sure the game is worth the candle. Once the inspiration expires, apathy too often rushes in to fill the void before I can build the necessary momentum to clear the first couple of hurdles.

So I’m struggling again. What else is new. You all have your own fires to stoke. Maybe I’m just addicted to inspiration, to that adrenaline rush that accompanies a grand insight. The groundwork that follows isn’t all that much fun.

For now, though, I’ll keep plugging away. I’ll get home around 6:30pm this evening and I’ll be tired. Off to the gym for knee rehab, then dinner, clean up, and by then it’ll be damn near 8:30pm. With energy and focus, I could make the most of the hour or two before bed, but damn it I’ll be tired, and in that state whatever project I was going to work on won’t seem like such an urgent matter.

Shit, if I had kids, like most men my age, I’d be lucky to have ten minutes to myself. In a way, I wonder if that wouldn’t simplify things though, if it wouldn’t put an end to all this indecisiveness. There wouldn’t time for this vicious circle of self-absorption. Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

I used to work as an addictions counselor, and sometimes I’d get the impression that many recovering addicts missed the simplicity of their single-minded pursuit of the next high. Nothing else mattered, they did whatever it took to reach their goal, and they were driven by an intense desire that just grew stronger in the face of obstacles. Recovery, in contrast, is hard work, has to be sweated out “one day at a time,” and relapse waits around every corner, ready to pounce in a moment of weakness.

So, what if I give up the struggle? Who drives the bus then—the devil or the angel? Or does it just veer off the road and land in a ditch somewhere? Does it really matter? Do all roads lead to the same place in the end?

How many different metaphors can a person use during one train of thought and still be considered sane?

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Isaac’s Dustbin: Love ain’t for keepin’

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I used to do a weekly thing on my MySpace page called “Dustcast,” to motivate myself to create on a regular basis. I pumped out maybe nine or so “episodes” before it slipped my mind—for the next couple of years.

But hey, what can you do except get back on the horse. And if the horse wandered off a long time ago and starved to death, or got eaten by a bear or something, well then I guess there’s nothing to do but walk. Or you could always take the bus, but that is neither here nor there.

The point is, I want to engage in the creative process more often, at least once a week, and I’m more likely to do it in earnest (and it’s more fun) if I share the results with my fellow gong-headers.

I spent most of my studio time this weekend trying to remember how to use my equipment, and by the time I figured out how to get my microphone to stop buzzing, I only had time for a quick cover. But hey, it’s a start.

The Who was the first rock band I fell head-over-heels in love with, back in 1982 when HBO aired their first “Final Tour.” Love ain’t for keepin’ off the Who’s Next album has always been one of my favorites, and here’s my take on the tune, as it came back to me on a quiet Sunday evening:

Love ain’t for keepin’.mp3

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Relaxing with our true condition

Pema Chodron

Pema Chödrön writes and talks about stuff like Buddhism, meditation and mindfulness. I saw this quote over at Integral Options Café, and it really gets at the core of so many of my issues these days:

The average human being thinks that happiness lies in stability, in tying up all the loose ends and having things under control. But actually, happiness lies in being able to relax with our true condition, which is basically fleeting, dynamic, fluid, not in any way solid, not in any way permanent. It’s transient by nature.

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Questions and answers

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I crapped a question mark today. I’ll give you a second to take that in. What I’m saying here is that I took a dump earlier today, and it came out in the shape of a question mark. Unbelievable, I know—both that it happened and that I’m writing about it publicly. But that’s what this blog is all about. It’s about the shape of my poop.

What else do you want to hear about? The latest Obama-McCain drama? The slumping economy? If Sarah Palin pooped a perfect question mark, it would be big news, but because I’m a nobody it just makes me a freak to write about such things, eh?

I see how it is. Well, just for that, I’m not going to tell you what the answer turned out to be.

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Ze Frank on The Sound of Young America


Ze Frank on The Sound of Young America from Jesse Thorn on Vimeo.

Ze Frank talks with host Jesse Thorn about creativity, what works on the internet and why, and being a traffic whore. Plus a whole lot of other stuff, like rubbing his head on the microphone.

Recorded at The Sound of Young America Live!, June 2008 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in New York, as part of Sketchfest NYC. Videography by Benjamin Ahr Harrison.

Ze Frank did a daily video blog called “The Show” for exactly one year, from March 2006 – March 2007. I stumbled upon his site a few months into “The Show,” and I was so impressed that I spent hours watching every back-episode. This was right after spending my biggest tax refund ever on my first “real” computer and beginning my own blog. It came as no surprise to discover that Ze was about my age and grew up just minutes from my hometown in upstate New York. However far from home I’ve roamed, I always seem to connect up with people from the homeland.

Ze’s work still inspires me because it shows what is possible when people challenge themselves to do something with the full force of their creative energies. Check it out.

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Loose threads

The older I get, the more I understand why we long to be in the company of those who share our beliefs. I choose certain friends. I watch certain TV shows. I visit certain websites. An illusion of consensus is generated, one that can be very comforting in this life fraught with uncertainty. I’m also coming to understand how differences in opinion and perspective can freak us out, make us extremely upset, and even drive us to aggressive and self-destructive actions. Threaten my core beliefs and you may as well be pointing a gun at my head. At least that’s how it can feel sometimes.

I am both fascinated and horrified by the lack of mutual understanding on display everywhere — between countries, religions, political parties, neighbors, spouses — and by the tenuousness of the ties that somehow hold the works together enough so that many of us can still live in relative peace and harmony.

The possibility of change through authentic relationship is what drives me to carry on, and it’s what inspires me to write, dialogue, and create. As I get settled in to my new life in North Carolina, I’m hoping to weave together the loose threads of my many interests and intentions, both here on this blog and in my daily life. There’s something connecting all this stuff about politics, religion, psychology, music, humor, etc., and it has something to do with the possibility of what my friend Julian Walker calls a “21st Century Spirituality.”

This is just a rambling way of clarifying my thoughts in the midst of a hectic couple of weeks. One of these days I will engage this blog thing with some focus and commitment.

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Conversational Intolerance

I used to be merely indifferent to organized religion, never quite understanding how anyone could buy into it. I was raised without it, and I’m a “damned” good guy, if I do say so myself. I value the transpersonal or spiritual dimension of experience above all else, I treat others with respect and courtesy, and everyone who knows me considers me a “good person.” I’ve never had need of religion, while having a more or less “live and let live” attitude when it comes to what others believe. But the irrationality and downright insane thinking that characterizes religious fundamentalism of all stripes is on the rise, and has so infected politics and public discourse that maybe it’s time for reasonable people to say “Enough is enough.” The last straw for me was watching Barak Obama pander to the crowd at the Saddleback Mega-Church.

When Obama talked about Jesus dying for his sins and all that, I nearly puked. Now, this is a pretty strong reaction I must admit, but there was something about the whole atmosphere of the forum, with the flock applauding on cue, and Obama parsing his words just so, that pushed my buttons and filled me with dread. First off, I have been rooting for Obama throughout this campaign season, but lately (and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing) I’ve been disillusioned, disappointed, and disenchanted with him and his “meet the new boss, same as the old boss” sucking up to an electorate that proves time and again that ignorance and thoughtlessness are now part and parcel of American society.

The whole question of faith, belief, or lack thereof, is particularly troubling to me. The fact of the matter is, if Obama or any other politician shares MY worldview, he or she would have to lie through their teeth about it in order to be elected to public office. And that’s exactly what I think Obama did by portraying himself as a devout believer, when this does not fit at all with the rest of his vibe. I could be wrong, of course, but that doesn’t change the fact that an America that requires its leaders to take part in organized religion is an America that I am losing faith in. I mean, if you think that a literal reading of the Bible and the theory of evolution represent equally valid perspectives of the development of life on earth, then you are not someone who should be running a large, powerful country in an increasingly complex global society. Such a display of distorted thinking should disqualify a person from being elected to public office, but in the United States — in the year 2008!!! — it’s a prerequisite that you at least pretend such beliefs are worthy of respect, and it’s certainly a prerequisite that you claim to be a believer in God Almighty.

I watched some TV preacher this morning talk about how THE most important thing anyone can do for their children is to teach them to believe in the Bible as the absolutely true Word of God. And here I am feeling just as certain that this is one of THE WORST things anyone could do to their child, that it’s a form of spiritual abuse to indoctrinate someone in this way. And these differences in belief have major consequences, from who is president to whether or not we wage war. So why do so many of us bite our tongues? Well, speaking for myself, it’s because so many of my friends and family members believe things I find very troubling, and I fear that speaking my mind will forever damage these valuable relationships. And so I blog anonymously and hope certain people don’t find me out.

I find myself more and more appreciating the ballsy efforts of the likes of Sam Harris and Bill Maher, and their use of “conversational intolerance,” which is simply a refusal to grant “off limits” status to matters of faith when assessing the validity of relative points of view. And yeah, there’s a certain sense of urgency involved that might ruffle some feathers. Some are more skilled than others, as Sam Harris has had numerous respectful debates with believers, including Saddleback’s Rick Warren, while Richard Dawkins comes across as a total dick most of the time.

True dialogue, true open-ended conversation is so rare, so precious. Do we really expect anyone — ourselves included — will have a change of heart as the so-called “Culture War” rages on? How is it that women ever got the right to vote? How can we bring change in a world that resists it at every turn? Should we fight harder or just lay down our arms? I don’t know. The whole thing is just religulous: