I’ve been silent lately. Work has been difficult, as the kids on the Adolescent Chemical Dependency Unit have been particularly intractable. Stress at work inevitably leads to thoughts of changing course: “Why am I doing this? What do I really want to do with my life?” The extra hours on the job also keep me from addressing the always growing “To do” list on the dining room table. Wedding photos still not gone through. Thank yous not sent out. Holiday shopping not even thought about. Ugh.
It’s snowing right now, and my wife is not sure she wants to brave the elements and run our errands today. I’m just stuck, spinning in circles–mentally, physically, spiritually. I wanted to blog several times over these last few days. The Sam Harris-Dennis Prager debate about atheism was pretty interesting (I thought Harris wiped the floor with Prager). Then Prager, who I never heard of before this week, caused a stir over a Minnesota Congressman’s refusal to swear his oath on the Bible. I had lots to say about that one, but decided to spend my free hour flipping between Leno and Letterman.
Then I found myself rankled by the in-group dynamics and circular arguments that elevate certain blogs (and certain people, artists, bands, organizations) to “integral” status based on little more than a shared jargon and common interest in Ken Wilber. I was ready to launch into a long rant about that one, but then I heard that Wilber is in serious condition in a Denver hospital. Suddenly, I don’t feel like bitching anymore.
Bad vibes all around. I’ll take a few deep breaths, tackle one or two things on the to-do list, and then rock out on the guitar for a while. At some point, clarity will come knocking again. Hopefully, I’ll be able to hear it over the amplifier.