Oh God! That’s what I was saying between bouts of vomiting throughout the night on Christmas. It was a brutal end to a difficult trip home. I felt out of sorts from the get-go, untethered from the web of routines that keeps me grounded. Sometimes that web can feel unbearably constricting. Sometimes it’s cozy and comforting.
Despite feeling like a corpse, I managed to make the drive from my parents’ house to my father-in-law’s place in New Jersey. My wife and I will be visiting with her Dad for a couple of days before returning to Kentucky. Presently I’m sitting in front of my lap-top, sipping some coffee, and checking out what’s been happening online these past few days. This reflective piece from Ze Frank hit home (as it did for my buddy Sean):
Then I read the latest from Ken Wilber, in which he describes the horrific brush with death he’s endured these past few weeks. It seems Wilber not only managed to survive the ordeal, but he also found a way to turn it into an edifying and inspirational experience. This guy is one extraordinary human being and I admire him a great deal, despite the many critical points I’ve made lately. Thinking about how poorly I handled being sick (I was on the verge of praying for death at one point), I am reminded of how much further I have to go in terms of developing my capacity for equanimity in the face of adversity. Shit, I can’t even visit my family without feeling and acting like a fish out of water.
But hey, today I’ll take a little comfort, like how I feel when I look over at my wife as we both “work” on our respective computers:
