So, I spent my precious days off this week at a counselor training workshop type thingy. And yeah, the lack of me-time has left me a bit cranky, but I did manage to learn a few things. For instance, the way I instinctively relate to my clients is consistent with what the state of Kentucky considers to be the “best counseling practices.” Truth be told, the two workshops I’ve attended this month constitute the only official training I’ve received in counseling techniques, despite the fact I’ve been counseling patients in various settings for a dozen years. My bachelor’s degree in Psychology trained me to be a scientist, and my master’s degree was entirely self-help oriented. I learned to be a counselor by counseling. It was a “trial by fire” deal. So, here I am at this seminar and the facilitator is telling me what all the latest research shows and what everyone already knows – that the patient’s perception of his or her relationship with the therapist is far and away the most significant predictor of positive change. Counseling techniques and schools of thought make almost no difference in outcome studies. It’s all about the sense of connection the patient feels with the therapist. It’s all about keeping it real.
For years I’ve considered authentic relationship to be the driving force of positive personal transformation in my life. I even wrote an entire master’s thesis unpacking this concept and using it to articulate some basic principles of personal transformation, principles which I believe are operative across many disciplines. Even yesterday, as I pondered the pros and cons of posting my caustic diatribe, I kept coming back to my commitment to keeping it real, even when doing so might lead to conflict and discomfort. It’s a slippery slope sometimes. In the end, I tempered my reaction to Stu’s blog quite a bit, editing out some pretty harsh comments. I’m still not sure this was the right thing to do. Nor am I sure it was a good idea to post at all, edits or otherwise. Who did it benefit? Was it just a way to make me feel better? Was it unnecessarily hurtful?
These are the types of judgment calls we all have to make everyday, and certainly I have to make them several times a day in my role as therapist. So far, I’ve always gone with my gut, and all in all that’s worked out fairly well. What else can we do?