Pants on fire

Kids… What can you say, except that they’re a bunch of lying little shit-heads.

One of my patients left the Adolescent Chemical Dependency Unit today, moving on to a long-term treatment center and leaving behind a trail of bold-faced, stone-cold lies. This kid lied about everything, from having a child to losing his buddies in a car accident to being beaten up by gang members. Of course, I’m used to being lied to, as anyone would be who deals with drug abusers and criminals. But sometimes it can be a bit much.

My wife has been dealing with this too, teaching her first ever class at the university. Several students have forged doctors’ excuses to account for absences, and a few have blatantly plagiarized papers from the internet. I have no sympathy whatsoever for these kids. They’ve probably been getting over on their parents for years and have never developed a sense of responsibility or had to face the logical consequences of their behavior. These kids seem to expect authority figures to look the other way, or at worst proffer a slap on the wrist. As far as I’m concerned, this just robs them of an opportunity to learn the rules of the big game.

Last night I gave my now former patient a little assignment. I asked him to write me a one-page paper on “What life would be like if you always told the truth?” He was supposed to turn it in to me when I came in this morning, but when I asked him for it, he said it was “too hard.” Maybe it was, but now he has another six to twelve months to think about it. I will too.