Core story

Reverb 10 Prompt (from Molly O’Neill): What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.)

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had to get that out.

I don’t do well with endings. I remember watching Grease with my family back in the early 80’s. After the final cheesy scene (when John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John go flying off into the sky as the cast sings “We go together”) and the credits began to roll, I found myself holding back tears. Even in a light-hearted musical, I just couldn’t stand the feeling of “it’s over” or “goodbye”. I know, I know… There’s a thing called “Google Reader” that can keep us all in touch if we’re so inclined. Still, I find myself already missing this month of discovery. And while it’s true I discovered a few worthwhile things about myself, what I valued most was discovering you all. Yes, this is going to be sappy and sentimental. I told you about Grease, right?

Glancing back over my posts, it’s immediately clear to me that the core of my Reverb 10 experience in not to be found in my responses to the prompts. Maybe there’s a central story threading through them that captures my year. I’m sure there is. But today I’m more interested in reflecting on the core story of this past month, which has been all about you, and in order to do that I need to read between the lines, and I need to recall your blog posts, and our exchanges via comments and tweets. While I did try to invest the very highest quality attention I had available to respond to the prompts, it was a real struggle most of the time. Rarely did I feel myself writing straight from the heart. Some of this had to do with time and energy constraints. A lot of it had to do with the fact that much has weighed on my heart this month (and this year) that I simply couldn’t write about publicly. Whereas posting was often a struggle, commenting on your posts and responding to comments was pure joy. That’s where my most heartfelt writing can be found, and that’s where my core Reverb 10 story is written. Connection. Community. Friendship. Support. Togetherness. Love. Told ya it was gonna get sappy!

So many memorable chapters, delightful discoveries, precious moments. Like when Emma tweeted that my very first post moved her to tears. Like discovering Kim’s magnificent writing and that warm, cozy feeling I felt each day checking into her blog. Like that first week, when I nervously posted a video/song I had made earlier in the year, and Tizz dropped by to say she thought is was wonderful. Like all those wonderful posts Tizz herself wrote with such fire, wit, humor, and her positively uncanny combination of vulnerability and bad-ass flair. Like Shannon’s constant, unwavering support throughout the entire month, and her own sometimes hilarious, sometimes courageous, always awesome, daily posts. Or when Stereo appeared in my comments announcing “Oh my, we’re going to be friends.” And she was right, and it’s been an honor and a privilege. Like Mrs. Mediocrity’s daily poetry, which nourished my soul. Like the wonderfully refreshing honesty, authenticity, and absolute lack of pretense in everything Katie posted throughout the month. The genuine sweetness of her writing voice, like that of the buoyant, kind-hearted Aba, fills me with hope for the future of humanity. And the vulnerable, moving, open-hearted responses and supportive comments of Emily and Alana. Patti’s down-to-earth, laugh-out-loud, nod-your-head-and-say-hell-yes daily doses of wit and wisdom. Like when I discovered the Little Yawps blog, nearly falling out of my chair as she described the joys of the perfect poop. Like when I nearly fell out of my chair every day after that from the sheer awesomeness of her writing. Like when I totally lost track of Sam, my very first commenter, only to reconnect weeks later, just in time to read about the heart-wrenching moment he shared with his daughter about the realness of Santa. And how about when Brooke shared her elation about how her Heal With a Meal project had caught on and touched lives. And then there’s Rebecca. The way she somehow managed to infuse every post, every comment, every response to a comment, every tweet — every word, truly– with a sense of warmth, grace, and beauty.

I’m sure I can’t recall every significant exchange, because they were all significant, to me (and because my memory isn’t that great). The core story, the heart of the matter, for me, this month, is there in those moments. It IS those moments. The thread I discovered today, after taking the entire experience to heart, is this mysterious, magical process that brought us together. Again, I must tip my hat and then bow deeply to Gwen Bell, Cali Harris, and Kaileen Elise for making this whole thing happen. They created the space, and then graciously invited us all in. Most of you I discovered through a series of seemingly random events. You happened to tweet your response a few minutes before or after mine. I noticed you commenting regularly on a blog I really liked. How is it that I can feel like I know you, that I can actually care about you, when I’ve never even seen you, heard your voice, when this is all just zeroes and ones and blips and bloops on a screen…?

Must be magic.

Thank you, and Happy New Year!