Sunday Dustbin: I am alive

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My work/play for this weekend consisted of trying to get a good live acoustic/vocals sound, so I can start recording tunes live with minimal effort and still have them sound decent. I did a version of a two-chord song called “I am alive,” which has evolved (but not beyond two chords) over several recordings over the years. I like the live acoustic/vocal sound on this one, but I’ve already forgotten how I did it. I never write down knob settings and whatnot, out of sheer laziness and stupidity. I over-dubbed a little harmony and ambient guitar, then called it a day.

I am alive.mp3
The sun drops out of sight
and I am the night
Cool air on my skin
and I am the wind
I am the wind

Nothing’s quite as it seems
and I am the dream
Floating out on the lake
and I am awake
I am awake

Holding on to the day
and I am afraid
The sun one day will die
But I am alive
I am alive

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The new left (and right)

I find it fascinating that comedians are now the only ones to take seriously when it comes to news and politics. Maher, Stewart and Colbert are seriously becoming the leaders on the left. While comedians Limbaugh, Hannity, and Beck are leaders on the right. (Those guys are comedians, right?).

Sunday Dustbin: Blood-red house

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Yeah, I’ve been listening to The Black Keys a lot lately. Here’s some blues wanking that has my ears ringing:

Blood-red house.mp3
Got on my hands and knees
and I begged my disease
Said “Beg you darling, please.
I need some release.
If you let me off the hook this time,
I’ll do anything.”

She said “Take the train to Shepherd Street.
Go to 117.
Knock exactly seven times,
then wait patiently.
In that blood-red house with no windows,
that’s where you’ll find me.”

Quarter given, blessing received

reverse_panhandling1.jpgThis morning I was waiting at the bus stop when a man hollered at me from across the street: “Hey friend, do you have a quarter? I’m trying to get me something to eat.” I waved him over and gave him the handful of change I had in my backpack—somewhere between a buck or two. He seemed very appreciative (and a little drunk) and bid me adieu with “Have a blessed day.”

Of course, this same scenario plays out all the time, at least once a week for me on the streets of Carrboro and Chapel Hill. Some days I give, some days I don’t. I always CAN give, if I really want to, but I’m not sure what drives my decision on any given occasion. It has nothing to do with whether or not I think the person is really going to buy food, instead of say, drugs. Safety is a consideration, though, as I’m not going to reach into my backpack or stop to engage with someone if I get the slightest vibe of danger. I think it has mostly to do with connection—how connected I feel with the person asking, and how connected I am to my own sense of gratitude for my “blessed” life.

This morning I felt pretty blessed. My wife is home, after a long time away. I had a restful night’s sleep in my comfortable apartment. A nice, rich cup of coffee and a yummy breakfast. My life is good—a fact I can’t seem to shake since returning from a poverty-stricken area of Mexico last year. People adapt to whatever situation they find themselves in, and it’s possible to be happy and healthy even in circumstances that seem unbearable to someone else. In fact, many people have felt pity for ME in recent months, seeing that I’ve been living apart from my wife, struggling to find meaningful work, going it without any insurance, etc.

It’s all relative, I guess. The truth of the matter is this: I am more privileged—in terms of lifestyle, support and opportunity—than the VAST majority of human beings that are living and have ever lived. When I feel this in my bones it’s hard NOT to spare a quarter, and hard to complain about anything. Of course, I forget this all the time, but lately I’ve been deliberately reminding myself of such things. And I’ve been much more disciplined about engaging in activities (like meditation, somatics, playing music, writing) that leave me feeling more grounded, present, awake and alive. Maybe I’ll actually keep it going this time around. That would be a true blessing.

Live from Carrboro, it’s Saturday Night!

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It’s been a long while since I just wrote for the sake of writing. For years, that’s what this blog was all about—tapping in to some place in me that felt alive, and then letting loose with whatever came up. There are a million reasons, I’m sure, why I’ve been keeping things somewhat bottled up. My wife and I have been separated by vast distances of time and space (due to her grad school research), and I tend not to write when wife and/or family issues are looming large. My Dad’s been sick these past months also. Mostly though, it’s just the same old story of forgetfulness—I forget how important uncensored creative expression is to me. Writing in this way is one of my key grounding practices, along with rocking out, meditation and somatics.

I’ve been through this cycle so many times—forgetting, remembering, forgetting again—that I’ve stopped beating myself up over it. Forgetting is simply part of the whole thing. At least it is for me, at this point in my life. As I type this (on the patio of the Looking Glass coffee shop in Carrboro) there are several young people—late teens, early twenties at the most—hanging out, smoking and shooting the shit. It seems strange to me to distinguish “young” people from myself, but at 38 I’m finally starting to feel the effects of aging. There’s just no denying it. I’m old enough to be these kids’ father. Fucking mind-blowing. Thursday was my father’s 65th birthday, and my good buddy Jeff’s 40th. My wife and I have been together for 8 years.

38 years old and working a temp job at the local university! Truthfully, that doesn’t bother me at all. My peers with their nice jobs and their nice houses and their nice kids don’t seem any more fulfilled than I am. No worse off, perhaps, but no better. We’re all trying to figure out what’s going on. This process of getting older, of starting to know, deep down in my bones, that it’s all fading away, is something that’s been dominating my awareness lately. It’s as if I’m interpreting everything in my life through this lens. Sounds morbid, I know, but it’s not really. It doesn’t feel that way to me at least. It seems natural that I’d be contemplating such things at this point in my life.

Wow, this “letting her rip” stuff is starting to sputter already! I’m out of practice I guess. A writer writes. A guitar player plays guitar. A passive consumer of entertainment media passively consumes entertainment media. I don’t know what the fuck I’m saying anymore. But I do miss this, and I hope I don’t forget it too soon. There something bubbling up inside me and it wants to express itself in seventeen different directions and in seventeen different ways. I want to write, I want to create music, I want to develop my Integral Health business, I want to open up in social situations, I want to learn Spanish, I want play in a rock band, I want let go of everything I think I know and see what happens.

I’m very fortunate to have the time, the comfortable lifestyle, the good health, and the supportive people in my life that make it possible for me to sit around and contemplate this shit. Today, right now, I’m not taking any of it for granted.

At least I remembered that much.

Enough coffee. Now I’m off to join my friends for some Saturday night revelry…

Integral Health?

[This is cross-posted @ IntegralHealthResources.com]

Question: What does “Integral” mean? What’s the difference between integral, integrative, holistic, mind/body, wellness, etc.?

My answer: As I use the term, “integral” refers to any approach that brings together multiple perspectives in an effort to address the multiple dimensions of human life. In this sense, the term “integral” is basically interchangeable with “integrative” and “holistic.” As a matter of personal preference, I like the term “integral.” I graduated from the California Institute of Integral Studies, which is grounded in the Integral Psychology of founder Haridas Chaudhuri, and I’m also a big fan of Ken Wilber’s “four quadrant” integral theory.

In general, however, the terms integral, integrative, holistic, mind/body, and wellness are all meant to convey “whole person” approaches to health and healing, as opposed to the disease-focused system associated with conventional medicine.

Keeping in mind that most, if not all, healthcare practitioners—whether in conventional settings or integrative health centers—would claim to be treating the “whole person,” I agree with the following distinctions Dr. Elliott Dacher makes between conventional, complimentary and alternative, integrative, and integral approaches:

[Article featured on Davi Nikent.org]

The evolution of medicine in modern times has been from allopathic or conventional, to alternative and complementary, to integrative and now to integral.

These can be defined as:

Conventional: The traditional approaches of medical science.
Alternative and Complementary: Healing approaches outside of the mainstream of western medical science.
Integrative: The merging of conventional, alternative and complementary approaches under a single “umbrella” of care.

Each of the preceding approaches, as they are currently and predominantly practiced in western culture, primarily focus on the biological or physical aspects of healing, emphasizing the role of professionals and their specialties, remedies and therapies in the treatment of physical disturbances. It is the recognition that these approaches have not addressed the whole person and therefore limit what can be achieved in health and healing that has driven the development of an integral approach.

Integral: The expansion of the health and healing process to address the entire range of the human experience: biological, psychospiritual, relational and cultural. All are seen to contribute to the disease process and to health and healing. The expansion of consciousness, the inner aspect of healing, rather than the outer “medical tool kit” is a central aspect of the integral approach. The aim of integral medicine is broader than all preceding approaches to health and healing. The aim is to gain freedom from suffering and to experience the flourishing of the full potential of our humanity – the natural arising of an inner peace, wholeness, love, compassion and joy – that can sustain itself throughout the life cycle irrespective of the presence or absence of disease. This can only be achieved with an integral approach to healing that considers all aspects of the human condition.

From the Practitioner’s Perspective:

As a conventional practitioner I would approach the individual from the perspective of the physical symptom and disease, limiting my diagnosis and treatment options to those of western science. As an alternative and complementary practitioner I would approach the physical symptom and disease from the perspective of my particular training (acupuncture, chiropractic, nutritional, etc.) and formulate a diagnostic and treatment plan in relationship to my specialty. An integrative care approach combines conventional and alternative approaches to offer a broader spectrum of choices when treating the individual’s symptoms or disease. As an Integral practitioner I would approach the patient first looking at their entire life circumstance – biological, psychosocial, relational and cultural – focusing on the whole person rather than the disease, symptom, or my particular specialty, my diagnosis would include concerns in each of these areas of life and my healing plan would cover the broad range of needs and possible approaches necessary to move towards a larger health of the whole person. Because as an integral practitioner my vision is broader so also is that which can be achieved, a human flourishing vs. a physical healing. As an integral healer I must be in a transformative process myself as the driving force for a larger healing is not merely biological knowledge but an understanding and growth into a larger consciousness. An expanding consciousness is a key ingredient of an integral process.

Elliott Dacher, MD
March 2005

Random (yet awesome) stuff I stumbled across this week

First up, “Last Day Dream” by Chris Milk. A very short film simply described as “A man watches his life pass before him.” Produced for the 42 Second Dream Film Festival, Beijing China 2009. Thanks to Ze Frank for the heads-up. Something about death moves me. Loved Six Feet Under, loved this video.

Last Day Dream [HD] from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

Next, a song. On YouTube, but no accompanying video footage. Not to worry. Jimi’s extended guitar solo is well worth it. In fact, in my opinion this is the best guitar solo in the history of rock music. That’s right. The best ever.

Finally, a talk given at Google Headquarters in 2007 by Jon Kabat-Zinn. If you have an hour and the interest, this is one of the best introductions to mindfulness meditation I have ever come across. Brilliant.

Integrative Health Coaching Training at DUKE: Module Four

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[The photo is of the “Labyrinth” at Duke Integrative Medicine]

It’s hard to believe, but Sunday my training came to an end and my friends and I were sent out into the world, certificates in hand, as Integrative Health Coaches. This last four-day module flew by, but fortunately we had plenty of time and space to reflect on and celebrate our four months together.

As with the previous modules, there were fascinating presentations (on Genomics, Spirtuality and Health, Business and Marketing) and opportunities to learn, practice and review coaching skills. It was the final module, though, so the major theme was “next steps,” as in: “What are you all actually going to do with this training, and how are you going to do it?” Of course, each of us has a unique answer to that question, and some of us (me!) are still trying to figure it all out.

To all those who’ve been following these posts to get the “inside scoop” on the training program, here’s the bottom line: It’s excellent. If you came across the description on the Duke website and thought to yourself, “This sounds amazing, but I wonder if it’s really worth it”—It’s totally worth it. There were a few participants who struggled at times and voiced some minor criticisms of the program privately, but everyone of them also expressed deep gratitude for the experience as a whole. Of course, no training will meet everyone’s needs and expectations. That said—I’ve been around the block a few times and have participated in trainings sponsored by mainstream, respected institutions, as well as a few interesting, yet kinda New-Agey/Woo-Woo affairs. This Integrative Health Coaching training at Duke Integrative Medicine has been hands-down, THE BEST. Solid, grounded in rigorous research, expertly crafted and delivered, and yeah, a little touchy-feely at times. But the mushy stuff came from a place of such open-heartedness and authenticity that it softened even the prickliest of us.

Most of all, though, this training was about the people—both those who instructed us and the forty or so of us who came from all over the country to form this community of kindred spirits. Many of us will continue to network and work together as we carry our visions forward in the world. What an amazing group of people! Thank you all.

If anyone has further questions about anything, feel free to comment here or email me at “isaacdust at gmail dot com.” You can also check out my professional website-in-progress, Integral Health Resources.com.

Debut of Minor Stars

20kbminorstarspinhook5-9-09.jpgEric, Matt and I had a blast Saturday night getting our Rock N’ Roll on at The Pinhook in Durham. It was our debut as Minor Stars, and we appreciate all the folks who came out to support us. It had been about six years since my farewell performance as the bassist for My Dear Ella, and it felt great to share the stage again with Eric and Matt.

I was definitely feeling some nerves beforehand, but I was much more relaxed than I thought I’d be. The only thing that threw me a little was the lighting on the stage. It was really dark, so I turned a little lamp on that was by my side of the stage. Instead of making it easier for me to see, the lamp created a weird shadow/glare thing that made it hard to see the fret board on my bass (and I have the lazy habit of looking down at my fret hand as I play). There was also a leak in the roof right above me, and periodically I was pelted with big drops of water, a few times smack on my fingers as I was playing. For future shows I will practice in the shower with the lights off!

All in all, we rocked hard and rose to the occasion. Speaking of rocking hard—Grappling Hook was out of this world. My neck muscles are still sore from head-banging. I literally HAD to bang my head and pump my fists and raise the devil horns. The Rock N’ Roll made me do it.

Since the wives were out of town I’m not sure who, if anyone, may have snapped some photos. If any turn up (any that make me look cool), I’ll post them here. I’m sure we’ll play a show in Chapel Hill/Carrboro soon. Until then, the finishing touches are being put on the new record, which will hopefully be released in the fall.

Being in a band is fun. Start yours today!

Music Spotlight: Minor Stars

mslogo3.jpgIt’s been nearly six years since I’ve performed live on stage. That’s all going to change one week from today when Eric, Matt and I make our debut as Minor Stars at the Pinhook in Durham, NC.

Am I excited? Yes.

Am I feeling a little anxious? Yes.

Did I just poop my pants?

Hold on a minute…

Yes.

Rock!!!!!!

Here are the details:

MINOR STARS

5/9/2009 10:00 PM at The Pinhook
117 Main Street, Durham, North Carolina 27701

Grappling Hook Record Release Party: Grappling Hook (12pm), Minor Stars (11pm), Le Weekend (10pm)